Sunday, March 31, 2013

Why did I gain weight you ask?

The simple answer is because I eat too much and don't move enough. 
But the complicated answer is so complicated I don't know how to explain or where to start. The 1st time I lost weight I thought I was ready, actually I was and I was convinced it was going to be a onetime thing, I even thought - why do people keep losing and gaining weight? Can't they just keep it off! Before you get offended I was always a big girl and was never really interested in losing weight, but I thought when I'm ready it will be once and for all. Ha ha! Yeah you can all laugh at me, I'm laughing too don't worry :)
So back to the reasons. 
Lets go back to 2011. In 2011 for the 1st time in my life I fell in love with someone, and then we broke up. I was so hurt and hear broken I didn't eat for days I lost 10lbs I weighed 220lbs. I maintained that for about 3 months (nov2011-feb 2012) and after that , I don't know what happened. I know at least 20 of 30 lbs I've put on in a year is emotional eating related and the other 10 is just plain over indulging.
To be honest I thought I was too smart to suffer from emotional eating- as in I would know when it starts and put a stop to it, but shock! Horror! I did know when I was doing it, but I just didn't care. In fact, I would consciously plan to over eat because *insert several silly excuses*  . The most popularly reoccurring excuse was " I don't care, I wanna be so fat that no one will find me attractive that way I don't have to worry about liking anyone. Sad! 

I'll end this post here for now. 

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